DAY 2 Saturday, 7th April 
-Ponds can be Deceiving-
I just got back from Yu gardens. Such a cute one! Except I was kind of scared since it was like packed full of Japanese people going lala and the bridge we had to walk on was thin and there was no fence and it was over a pond and since I’ve actually fallen into a pond before… what?!? It looked like grass ok?
-I Hate Flight Centre Man and Whales-
Oh thrill. We went to the communist party museum. Zomg it was really freaky. There were all these wax figures and mannequins of Mao
Zedong and some other rando communist dudes everywhere. When I first saw them, I wasn’t quite sure if they were real. I got in trouble for screaming. I swear one of them was moving! And what’s with all the security guards? They’re so tight ars. When they do that martial arts stance, they look constipated. Actually, now that I think about it, they look like that flight centre pilot mannequin at the shop that holds flyers about cheap airfares.
Can I tell you a secret? Ok. I have a morbid fear of flight centre man, oh, and the giant whale at the museum in Brisbane that hangs off the roof and goes weeeeeeeohhoooooooooooooyyyy, but no time to explain that.
-Ponds can be Deceiving-
I just got back from Yu gardens. Such a cute one! Except I was kind of scared since it was like packed full of Japanese people going lala and the bridge we had to walk on was thin and there was no fence and it was over a pond and since I’ve actually fallen into a pond before… what?!? It looked like grass ok?
-I Hate Flight Centre Man and Whales-
Oh thrill. We went to the communist party museum. Zomg it was really freaky. There were all these wax figures and mannequins of Mao
Zedong and some other rando communist dudes everywhere. When I first saw them, I wasn’t quite sure if they were real. I got in trouble for screaming. I swear one of them was moving! And what’s with all the security guards? They’re so tight ars. When they do that martial arts stance, they look constipated. Actually, now that I think about it, they look like that flight centre pilot mannequin at the shop that holds flyers about cheap airfares.Can I tell you a secret? Ok. I have a morbid fear of flight centre man, oh, and the giant whale at the museum in Brisbane that hangs off the roof and goes weeeeeeeohhoooooooooooooyyyy, but no time to explain that.
-Nathan Licked Abby’s Boob-
At lunch time, we had some really nice (but totally freaky) food. For dessert, they served us jelly, but not just any old jelly, this jelly was special. It was boob-shaped jelly. It was funny because Nathan stole Abby’s boob and licked it. Everyone was like ‘Eww! Nathan licked Abby’s boob! Gross!’
-Learning is Fun-
So afterwards, we went to this other rando museum about Chinese culture or some crap and it was really boring until we found a man wearing a skirt. bahaha
-Clowns are Ghey-
For dinner, we went to Jinmao Tower. It’s the tallest tower of something or whatever. To tell you the truth, I don’t know. To get there we had the choice of taking a plain normal everyday train, or like a fully sick pimped out train. We took the pimped out one. It was like an amusement ride or something. We went through a tunnel with all these flashing lights but then suddenly, from nowhere in particular, clowns jumped out. Oh the trauma! Clowns are now officially added to my list of totally irrational fears.
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